Below is an article I wrote for Country Child’s Spring 2016 Issue 24 (out this week) about helping your children during exam times.  I hope you find it helpful.  Please do get in touch if you are concerned about any exams looming in your household.  It is very normal to feel alone in a situation – but Alice Johnsen Life Coaching can help.

What is the role of the parent when your child is facing something scary, like exams? Are you the nag to revise? Are you the provider of answers? Or are you the person that is bringing a constancy, a hug, a hot water bottle for the soul?

As my children grow older the hardest lesson I am having to learn is to let them get on with their lives with less and less support from me. OK, I’m still a taxi/cook/laundry maid but I am not needed so often for the cuddles, the secretive conversations about the current major issue, the reassuring pep talk before a big day. So when our children get all grown up and independent, what can we do? What is our role?

I don’t think we can go far wrong if we focus on getting the message across to our children that we believe in their abilities, we have confidence in them. This is all very well if we are in agreement with our children about their goals – what they can realistically expect to achieve. So maybe that is the first step. By talking to our children and liaising with their teachers we should have a clear understanding of what our children can achieve – and what is, with the best will in the world, out of their reach.

Once those goals have been defined clearly, our role possibly becomes a little more “behind the scenes”. By maintaining a regular (note regular not constant) interest in our child’s life, we are more likely to keep those all important communication channels open and therefore more likely to spot any problems as soon as they appear. Because you have established with your child and their teachers that what they are trying to achieve is possible, you can keep on reminding your child that they can achieve, they can pass, they can do this. Your continued belief in their ability will become something they can believe in and be supported by. Don’t underestimate that.

An article last year by John Bingham, Social and Religious Affairs Editor for the Daily Telegraph, noted self-confidence makes a bigger difference to people’s likelihood of success in Britain than in almost any other country. As Barrie Davenport, coach and author says, “Low self confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self confidence can be learned, practised and mastered – just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better”.

I couldn’t have put it better. I believe self confidence is often, but not exclusively, triggered by a conscious decision to overcome something. Mind over matter. However, it is not easy and we sometimes need help. At Alice Johnsen Life Coaching I can help you identify the areas or aspect of your life causing your confidence to be low and help you find ways to strengthen and grow in your confidence. Life coaching is all about that inner strength and focus, be you parent or child.

#confidence #communication#  #lifeskills  #lifecoach #Sherborne #SouthWest

 

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