All through our lives, we need boundaries. Our childhoods are filled with them – term time, play time, bedtime, homework – and on and on. But once we are adults, we have to take responsibilities for our own boundaries. Why? Because by setting boundaries in our own lives, we are supporting our goals, ambitions and the way we function and get through daily life. By using boundaries we are communicating to the people around us what is going on in our lives right now, where our immediate focus is.
So, for example, if you work from home you are going to make your life a whole lot easier if everyone knows that when you are in your office or at your desk you are focussing on work. If they (your family) need you they either have to wait until you leave your work or knock on the door if it is really urgent (and again, ‘urgent’ may need a little bit of defining therefore setting another boundary too). Just as importantly, you may want to think about setting boundaries for work, for example, time away from your phone or screen every evening from 6pm to 8.30pm and again from 9pm onwards – consider what timings would work for you best. Lastly, what about a boundary of us as individuals? A small change to improve our overall health or wellbeing? That could be something like making sure you eat your evening meal before a set time (I should definitely be setting this one for my family!) or cutting down how much caffeine you have.
So, boundaries make us think through the everyday – the little bits that niggle and build up to cause resentment or difficulties. They set limits within our lives which help us stay in control of our time and how we manage it. They let other people know when they can or can’t have access to us, simple as that. And they support us in making small changes to our own lives that bring about greater health or wellbeing.
If you’d like to meet for a one session blast to fix some helpful boundaries in your own life please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07961 080513 or visit my site: www.alicejohnsen.co.uk.
Bring on the boundaries!